What to Do When Your Children Won’t Stop Fighting. With our Sabbath Schooling schedule, we take a lot of time off during the Fall and Winter. All of our birthdays are in the Fall, not to mention holiday get-togethers. So, we usually end up taking off a month or so of school. Sounds great, right?!?! Well, not too long into the break, my children start to get a little restless. They begin to fight with one another and argue over everything under the sun.
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Teaching my children to get along with one another has been a huge challenge. My oldest son and his younger brother share a bedroom. They are constantly bickering and fighting. I am actively working towards a goal with them. That goal is to leave behind all the fighting and gain some new productive habits to put in their place. So, today I want to share with you some ideas on what to do when your children won’t stop fighting.
What to Do When Your Children Won’t Stop Fighting
Developing good habits…
Charlotte Mason spoke of habits, and how they are constantly forming in our children. The habits of brushing your teeth, taking a shower, saying your prayers, reading the Bible, and even getting along with your siblings are being formed at an early age.
Every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend… Charlotte Mason (2013). “The Original Home School Series”,
Working on developing good habits is a step towards a greater goal. It’s a step toward improving character.
Suggested read: Habits: The Mother’s Secret to Success
The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days. Charlotte Mason (2013). “The Original Home School Series”
Habit training is not just for your children. You should also step back, and see where you need to improve yourself.
Creating an Atmosphere
The atmosphere we set in our home directly influences our children.
Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life… Charlotte Mason
Are you constantly fighting or raising your voice?
Are you quick to anger?
How do we handle difficult situations?
Children are highly impressionable. They look at their surroundings, and take it all in. If you want your children to develop good habits, you should start with yourself. Set a good example.
Fighting is not always an easy habit to break.
Here are a few tips to create a good atmosphere, and reduce fighting/bickering in your home.
Tip 1: Put on some music.
I have noticed that when I put on some good Christian music, the mood completely changes! It helps us to dwell on God, and get our minds on the right track. I like to put on music in the morning at breakfast time, or in the afternoons while we are doing chores.
Tip 2: Read the Bible
Read the Bible to your children, or have them read the Bible independently. Using the Bible to help improve your situation is a tremendous help! Pick out a few scriptures for memorization or copywork. I have a friend who recently did this. She sat her children down, pulled out her Bible, and began to read. She read all the scriptures she could find on anger. Then she had her children copy them down several times on a sheet of paper.
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. Proverbs 29:11
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph.4:32
Tip 3: Start your day with prayer.
Start the day by praying for your home/homeschool. Also, remind your children to pray each morning. Or, you could start your homeschool with prayer altogether.
Tip 4: Accentuate the positive
If my children just can’t seem to get along, I have them write down what they like about each of their siblings. We often have them pick out 5 admirable qualities in each of their siblings, and write them on a piece of paper. Then they read them aloud. It works wonders!
I read in Karen Andreola’s book, A Charlotte Mason Companion, that “Brothers and Sister are comrades and shall not be permitted to give constant critic.” In other words, brothers and sisters should not be picking out each other’s flaws. Instead, they should be encouraging one another. That has stuck with me.
Every time my children start to argue, I gently remind them that they are comrades. They are supposed to love and support one another. They are supposed to have each other’s backs.
Tip 5: Keep them busy
Take your children away from the problem. Take them outdoors, and let them run around and play. I have noticed that my children are less argumentative with one another if they have plenty of opportunities to let out all of their energy outside. The arguing may be stemmed from being bored and restless. When they are busy doing something, they are less likely to fight with one another.
Take baby steps, and be consistent. It is not likely that it will change overnight because all habits take time to develop. Your children will eventually learn. I know that I can see improvement in mine from doing these things in our homeschool.
If you have any good ideas to prevent sibling rivalry, post them in the comments below!