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How to Stop the Fighting in Your Marriage

My husband and I have been married for nearly 12 years. Things did not start out all “cupcakes and rainbows.” (My kids might watch Trolls way too much…) There were arguments and fights… more than I really want to admit to in our first 2 years of marriage.  Slowly things began to change. I feel like God molded us. He helped us become better spouses to one another. What have I learned in those 12 years?? Below are my tips to stop the fighting in your marriage.

how to stop the fighting in your marriage

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How to Stop the Fighting in Your Marriage

Say “I’m sorry” and always be first to do so.

This one was so hard for me. It took me several years of getting over my hard-headed stubbornness and pride. And also, a quiet nudging from God, to realize that saying “I’m sorry” is the best way to break through that barrier that is put up with each argument. It’s a surefire way to start the makeup process!

Don’t wait to apologize just because you think your spouse was the one in the wrong. Believe me… there are two sides to every story, and they may feel like they are the one that has been wronged.

Keep your lips sealed.

Say what you need to say. Communication is very important, but do not fuel the fire during an argument. If you’re getting nowhere, just stop. It is definitely not worth it to scream or yell at each other and never really get anywhere in your argument.

Instead, have a discussion. Take turns telling each other how you feel. That is the most sensible thing to do. You cannot expect to get through to someone if you are both yelling.

Talk to your spouse.

Tell them how your day went. Ask about their day. Let them in on any new ideas you have, or any new dreams/goals. Keep them updated!! Communication is key to ALL relationships.

Listen to your spouse…really listen.

Listen. Don’t let it go in one ear and out the other.

Set your phone down.

Put down the shopping list.

Stop whatever you are doing that may distract you and listen.

It will greatly benefit your marriage to be on the same page.

Compliment your spouse.

Compliments go a long way. Everyone likes to be complimented, and it means even more when it’s coming from someone who you love.

You fell in love with them for a reason, so remind them of those things you love about them!

Spend some quality time together.

Make time for each other. Regardless of how busy your day is, you can always squeeze in a moment or two. Just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.

Read this article: The Secret to a Successful Marriage: A Piece of Advice I Learned From Someone Married Over 50 years.

Pray for one another.

We pray to God to ask him for things we need and want. Well, we need a good relationship with our spouse. We also want the best for the ones that we love.

I want my husband to prosper in all that he does. I need him to be a strong spiritual leader in our home. So, I pray for those things.

Put God first, your spouse second, and yourself last.

Put God first, and he will make your marriage prosper. God gives love, joy, peace, patience, long-suffering… Everything that is key to a successful marriage.

 God = first.

Your spouse = second.

Don’t let your spouse pull you away from God. Instead, let God pull you two closer together. Putting yourself last can be hard.

For our wedding, e received a card from a friend that went to church with us. She drew a little illustration with a triangle. At the top, he wrote: God. On the two lower corners she put my husband’s name and my name. Then she wrote this: The closer you both get to God, the closer you get to each other.

That has stuck with me for years!

 It is human nature to think of yourself, but putting ourselves last helps us to focus on the most important things in our marriage. Being selfless shows just how much you love someone.

I challenge you!

Put these things into action in your home, and see what the outcome is!

how to stop the fighting in your marriage

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