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The Secret to a Successful Marriage

A piece of advice I learned from someone married over 50 years.

I will never forget my pastor teaching on marriage one Sunday morning. He began to tell how he and his wife met, how they fell in love, and eventually married. He talked about the 50+ years they have spent together. He said that he loves his wife better every day, and that is how marriage should be. But, then he told us his secret to a successful marriage.

successful marriage

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The Secret to a Successful Marriage

It was the thing that stuck out to me the most! He said this: “Husbands, just because you married her, it doesn’t mean you stop dating her.”

He told us about the dates that they still go on after so many years together. They make time for each other. Even if it is just something super simple like going for a ride on some old backroads or viewing the lights at Christmas time.

Quality time with your spouse is SO important!

Why do you need dates in your marriage?

We live in a “connected” generation. Except… we tend to be connected to everyone, but our spouse!

Our husbands come in from work and plop down in front of the TV…. Or you both sit there quietly on your phones saying nothing to one another. You can go days with barely a word spoken. We need to disconnect and reconnect … reconnect with our spouse. Make time for each other.

How we make time for dating

I’ve been married to my husband for 11 years, and we have 5 kids. We had our first child 6 months after our wedding, so we have always had to be creative when it comes to finding time for each other.

No Technology Rule

We rarely have a one on one date outside of our home, but when we do we disconnect. We have a no phones rule. No phone calls, no facebook, no texts, no phones period.

We recently went to a restaurant where there was another couple across the room on a date. They were both so sucked into their phones the whole time… I don’t think they ever looked at each other. It was sad to watch. Communication is so important in marriage.

When you can’t go out…

We usually get my mother to babysit, but when she can’t, we stay in. Even though we have 5 kids, we find ways to have our dates.

We send the kids to bed early and play board games, talk, ask each other silly questions, or watch a movie. One time we set up a table and chairs in our room and ate a candle-lit dinner.

Don’t forget to water your grass.

It may seem cliche to say, but I heard someone say once, “If the grass is greener on the other side, you should water your own.” I never want to forget to water my grass.  

As I grow old with my husband, I want to make sure we never quit dating one another.

I want to make sure we never quit trying to win each other’s affection.

the secret to a successful marriage

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